You just described a nightmare, a slow-motion trainwreck that's going to result in a lot of pain. On the one hand I feel a bit uncomfortable after reading it, like I've engaged in a kind of voyeurism. On the other hand, it makes me deeply grateful for what I have.

On a side note, after 28 years of being a newlywed, here's what I think is the one most important rule for a happy marriage:

"No matter how long they've been married, the man must *never* stop courting the wife...and the wife must *never* allow the man to stop courting her."

That won't prevent most problems along the way, but it will make most problems a lot easier to solve...and it goes a long way towards preventing cheating by either spouse.