Why Husbands Should (Almost) Always Be Truthful To Their Wives
This article is just for men. See the picture? It’s full of blood, gore, and testosterone-fueled rage, so women should just pass it by. Honest!
Okay. Now that we know that the women — having read the disclaimer above and bored half to death by that image of Ultimate Manliness — are all ignoring this article, pull up a chair, and pop open a cold one. If you want, there’s some hot coffee over there if you want, Navy style. I made it last week so it’s still fresh, and with a pinch of salt to take out the bitterness. Don’t even ask for creamer or sugar. Do that and I’ll take your Man Card away from you.
Now let’s get down to business. No, I’m not going to say “we need to talk” because that’s what a woman would say, and that phrase makes most of us break out in hives. Instead, let’s just shoot the breeze. As you all know, the two phrases are very different, just like dolls and action figures are as different as night and day.
So…how many of of us here have lied to our wives? Wait, don’t answer that.
Instead, raise your hand if you have never lied to your wife. Okay, as we can all tell by the complete lack of raised hands, we’ve all done it at least once. Don’t feel bad, because I’m pretty sure that Mary Todd Lincoln wouldn’t allow Honest Abe to raise his hand, and while ol’ George Washington might have said “I cannot tell a lie” when asked about that cherry tree, I think we can all agree he wouldn’t have raised his hand, either. Right? Right.
Now, how many of us have never been caught lying to our wives? Wait, what’s that? We’ve got one guy here who says he’s never been caught lying to his wife? Hey…I know you! You’re that politician who cheated on all three of his wives! Go on, get out of here — this is just for us who have a clue that being a husband is more than just popping a blue pill before thirty seconds of sweat and alimony payments for life. Don’t let the door hit you where your mama slapped you on the way out!
Now that he’s gone, anybody else here never been caught lying to your wives? Right. We’ve all been caught and…