We’re both right…but in a way, we’re discussing apples and oranges.
TL:DR — My claim addresses the general, whereas your reply addresses the individual.
But if you’re curious as to why that is, by all means, read on.
What I’m referring to is the great majority of marriages. To be sure, there will be marriages where their relationship would support your point. My claim does not address marriages within the LGBTQ community, nor does it address those individuals whose hormonal or chromosomal makeup are different from the norm.
But in the aggregate, men are generally men and women are generally women. Most men love violent movies with explosions and bullets and blood, while most women love weepy movies with drama and romance and tears.
Look at it this way. What’s more difficult — mass psychology or individual psychology? The latter, of course. Any cynic would have to agree that mass psychology must be easy if even a politician can understand it. But individual psychology runs the gamut from Ayn Rand to Bernie Sanders, from Charles Manson to Barack Obama, from Alex Trebek to, well, Donald Trump.
But mass psychology? Here’s my proof that it’s not so hard, all wrapped up in a quote by the Nazi general Hermann Goering said while he was on trial for war crimes at Nuremberg:
“Why of course the people don’t want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don’t want war: neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or fascist dictatorship, or a parliament or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peace makers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”
As evil as he was, and as horrifying and repugnant as his claim is, he was right. That’s a perfect description of how to lead the majority of any nation’s population by the nose. If you were an adult on 9/11, then in the following months and years you watched the very same dynamic at work in America, with Bush and the GOP denouncing the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. That’s exactly what they did.
No, I’m NOT trying to compare Nazism to the marriage dynamic, or anything like that. I’m simply proving the difference between individual psychology and mass psychology.
So it goes with marriages. My claim (which takes the mass psychology route) rightly addresses marriages in general, whereas your reply (which addresses psychology on the individual level) rightly points out my error on the individual level.