In my experience, when minorities write about the racism they’ve experienced (almost always by my fellow whites (and yes, in America, whites are the most racist and commit the most racism)), the articles tend to take one of two forms: “see what they’ve done to us” or “stop patronizing me”. Yours has elements of the former but is mostly the latter.

I can not argue your points or conclusions. You’re right…and you can see in my first two articles that I do hold my own to account for the wrong we have done to minorities. However, that requires me to ask this one question: when we want to reach out to you, how would you have us do so? It seems obvious that you see patronization as an insult (as do I), but are you aware that many whites who reach out in the way you described simply don’t recognize that fact? In my opinion, when that white person spoke to you, he or she was more than likely just reaching out and trying to learn, trying to reach across the racial divide…and probably thought that one catches more flies with vinegar than with honey.

So while you made some very good and thought-provoking points, next time, please consider the possibility that the white person does not realize how you’re receiving what he or she just said, and that they’re just trying to reach out, to help make things better with you, and not against you. Yes, you can’t help the frustration you feel, but racism does not require malice. Please save your anger for those whose racism is intentional and malicious.

Written by

Retired Navy. Inveterate contrarian. If I haven’t done it, I’ve usually done something close.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store