As a writer, I’m intimidated. Your article grips one’s emotional center and twists. Violently. I have nothing to compare to your experience…and I am grateful for that.
As someone who grew up in the Mississippi Delta, I can testify to the accuracy of your descriptions of racism even when only family is present…and to how other family members and society would react to your choices. However, I should note that in my experience, most racists do not recognize their own racism for what it is. That was the case with my family and myself, and it was my travels and experiences in the Navy that forced me to unlearn both my racism and my bigotry towards the LGBTQ community…and it’s as if I began to speak a different language that my family could no longer understand. I suspect you know what I mean.
You have the observational skill of a great writer, and you have the dearly-bought character that one develops after forcing oneself to recover from deeply traumatic experiences. Never allow yourself to be kept silent!